This blog post shares personal information about my life, marriage, and relationships. Be forewarned in case you want to skip over it. ;)
Most of my close friends and family are well aware of the topic that I write about next, but perhaps some of those who only marginally know me may not be aware of major life changes that have transpired over this past year.
On July 6th of this year, yours truly got married at the Chapel in the Woods at Elvis Presley's Graceland in my birthplace of Memphis, Tennessee where my parents and many family members still live. It was a very beautiful wedding, and despite rumors, we were not married by an Elvis impersonator.
My beautiful bride's name is Jennifer.
Just over a year ago, I unexpectedly met this wonderful woman who I married last month. We discovered immediately within our first few conversations with one another that we "had the spark". We get along great in our companionship, never run out of conversation, and enjoy being with each other. We're greatly in love with one another and it has been as if we were two lost souls who have been searching for one another our entire lives.
Jennifer is originally from Mansfield, Texas. My wife is vibrant, funny, loving, fun and brings such joy and laughter into to my life. She makes me very happy and has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. I recognize now that I never truly ever experienced this before with anyone else. I never experienced what it was like to be in a happy and healthy relationship that wasn't all dysfunctional, struggling, sad, chaotic, drama-filled, or wrong in some way. Jennifer loves me for who I am. Love is reciprocated between us. I finally feel it in my heart that all is right and there is this great sense of appreciation of being in a stable relationship for the first time in my life.
I had previously been divorced after a difficult 20+ year marriage that struggled and was often unhappy throughout our time together behind the scenes and ultimately failed. I finally accepted it was time to leave when I realized it couldn't be "fixed", we were disconnected, both unhappy, and not living an authentic life. Still, I sincerely appreciate the two wonderful children we brought into this world together. I do hope my ex-wife has found or will find the happiness she desires.
After the divorce, I met other women as I tried to pick up the pieces and matters only got worse for me. I had my heart broken a few more times -- especially over two other women that I was dating. Both weren't right for me. One, who I was in a long-term relationship with, used me, viciously deceived me, took thousands of dollars from me, and then cheated on me with another man that I discovered when I walked in on them. The other person I only briefly dated, as we were friends for several years beforehand and we agreed to gently part ways after giving dating a try. We both recognized that we weren't meant for one another as a couple and decided it best if we would just remain friends.
And I'm not proud of this next part of my life after those two relationships and before meeting Jennifer, but then there were the many other women through online dating that I dated briefly over an 18 month span that I just never felt any sort of connection, spark, or real love for any of them. I felt numb and going through the motions of online dating. I don't think they felt it either and there is no love lost there. I felt horrible and very alone during that period. I'm not proud or happy with that experience and this time of my life, but it was something that I went through that ultimately led me to loving and especially appreciating Jennifer even more.
For me, I just didn't think I'd ever find true love. I never thought I'd ever re-marry again after all that I went through. I just didn't think I could ever "get it right."
Life is funny. I admit here to my reader that in one of my private prayers to God just a summer a year ago, I told Him after all the relationship problems that I went through, that I surrendered when it came to the matter of finding that special someone to love who I desired to love me authentically in return. Like I said, getting remarried just a year ago seemed like the farthest thing from what would happen. I asked God to place in front of me what He intended for me... and a few weeks later I met Jennifer. (Thank you, again, God.)
And yes, Jennifer and I clicked immediately.
Just over a year later, yes, I am very happy and in love. I'm a newlywed. Jennifer has helped me in my healing process and has helped love all of my pain away from my past. I can now move forward and enjoy life. For the first time since my teenage years, I truly feel happy and content with life. I feel at home. All feels right now. I have finally found the person that "gets me" and fully understands me, loves me unconditionally, isn't trying to use me in someway, doesn't treat me as second best, and who I truly enjoy spending my time together with. There is no walking on eggshells around her or worrying about some sort of Jerry Springer-like bullshit drama to happen at anytime like I did with some previous women that I dated these last few years.
I share this personal information to let all those know I finally feel at ease. This is cathartic for me to share. We are enjoying life together and we look forwards all of our days ahead. After the difficult previous years of my life, I thank both God and thank Jennifer that she is now at my side as my wife.
I think we have what it takes "to get through this thing called life."